10 Reasons why Women are the Key to Recovery for depressed men.This page about the role of women in the defeat of a man's depression is Abridged from the book
Save Your Husband! by Scott Forbes.
Sweeping gender statements regarding women and men are found in my book and on this site . This is really going to irritate some readers. I am sorry for that. Please accept these over-simplifications as they are intended - as an attempt to clarify a complex problem and identify it's many solutions.
You know him best.You will be the first to see the negative changes. You will likely notice it even before he does. Even if he does feel something is amiss in his own behaviour, he will not be able to verbalize it for quite some time.
You believe in him.Your husband may be full of confidence and bravado on the outside, but that is no indication of his own self-confidence. Men are far less confident than they let on. Now he senses that he is loosing even the little strength that he does have.He trusts you.Everywhere a man turns in life there is a competition going on. Everyone critigues his performance. That is why 43-year-old men come home from a game of pick up basketball with more injuries than they sustained in all of high school.He can't trust anyone with this problem. He has confidence in you in the emotional arena.He does not trust his own emotions and if he thinks that depression is an emotional matter, he will listen to you. It might take coaxing for him to try to describe what is happening to him, because he lacks words.He feels safe with you.Men use illnesses and weaknesses to judge their competitors, while women use such knowledge to understand their friends.If you don't do it, who will?We live in a time of increasing alienation from each other and work situations that take us far from our childhood homes. Do not assume that there is anyone else who will love the man in your life as much as you do.He cannot think straight right now, but you can.Your husband has lost his inner tool-chest for fixing his internal problems. His lifetime of self-talk, proverbs, and things he knows for sure are still just as true but they no longer have the power to lift him up. He needs your objective view.He is paralyzed.Men are prone to action, but when depressed almost all of the actions a man will take to alleviate the pain will do just make it worse.You can help him find the way home.Women have a lifelong history of exploring each other's mental and emotional conditions, but he is lost on another planet. He does not have a clue where he is, and he does not know how to get home.He will give up easier than you.He is in pain, full of fear, listening to self-doubt, and beginning to hate what he has become. You can speak the truth to him that there is hope and that this strange sickness is treatable. Most of all you can say you will be with him in this no matter how long it takes to recover. That assurance alone may save his life.Perhaps you know other women who will benefit from reading this book or visiting this site. Every woman helped is man saved, a marriage strengthened and proof that you are a great friend!
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